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Civil Ceremony? Vow Renewal? Wedding?
My fiance and I got engaged on the 31st of July. We are kind of in a hurry to get married because we have a baby due in January. We have the wedding certificate all ready to go … but I refuse to do a courthouse wedding in fear that a traditional wedding will keep being put off due to the baby. We were going to have a small backyard wedding but we currently live in Minnesota with his family while he works and saves up money. All of my family lives in Kansas and they cannot afford to come up to Minnesota … his family cannot afford to go to Kansas … so we’re in a pickle. Then I thought, well why don’t we just do a small, private wedding, with just the two of us in Hawaii or somewhere. That way, we don’t have to worry about family, the stress and time crunch of planning, location etc. I’ve been looking online for hours trying to find something like a small civil ceremony type thing in an all inclusive wedding package but all of them require processing of the marriage certificate and they include cake, chairs for guests, reception hall, music etc. That’s way too much. We just want to stand on a beach and have somebody perform the traditional readings and we want to stay there for the honeymoon. Does anybody know of any travel agency that offers that sort of thing?
Would it be called a vow renewal if we’ve already had a courthouse wedding in Minnesota? Should I just look for vow renewal packages instead of marriage packages?
Technically it would be considered a vow renewal (in Hawaii or wherever) if you got married in a courthouse first. Call the travel agencies and talk to them about your situation. Just because it says "cake, chairs etc included" doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t customize your "order." Call. It never hurts to and you might find something extraordinary.
5 Responses to “Civil Ceremony? Vow Renewal? Wedding?”
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September 14th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Technically it would be considered a vow renewal (in Hawaii or wherever) if you got married in a courthouse first. Call the travel agencies and talk to them about your situation. Just because it says "cake, chairs etc included" doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t customize your "order." Call. It never hurts to and you might find something extraordinary.
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September 14th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
the advantage of calling it a "vow renewal" is that you won’t have to worry about the legal aspects of the marriage certificate and so on. so that might be the way to go.
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September 14th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
My husband and I went through this same thing.
We were married legally before our child was born, and now, since we have some extra money and are over the "baby" thing, we are having what’s called a "Validation Ceremony". It’s basically a wedding without the legal part of it. You can be legally married and enjoy the tax benefits now, and when you have some more time and money you can have a real wedding. It will be different and you will be treated differently by some people, but that will all go away when your dancing in your wedding dress holding your son/daughter and your husband. Believe me, wait, enjoy your newborn, get your figure back and have a wedding when your lives are a little less hectic.
Oh, and a bonus- since you’ll already be married legally, you can have anyone perform your validation. My dad is "marrying" us. So sweet.
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Baby before the wedding!
September 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Don’t get married just because you’re having a kid.
Save your money and do it right the first time, in Hawaii.
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September 14th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Hi Whitney:
IF you go through with the courthouse wedding in Minnesota, then there is no need for another ceremony in Hawaii. YES, any other type of ceremony (after a courthouse wedding) would be a "vow renewal."
I am NOT trying to sound mean, but if you are living with his family while you are pregnant and he is working to save money……DON’T go to Hawaii! Hawaii is NOT cheap by any means. Just the flight from Minnesota could be $1,000/each…then a wedding….then a honeymoon! Not a good idea.
Why not look more locally. Really, I live in Michigan so we have most of the same weather you do in Minnesota. The fall is really pretty. Why not (just the two of you) look into going somewhere more locally. Look into going to a Bed and Breakfast Inn or a historical site and have your wedding. Have you thought of the North Shore of Minnesota? There are so many nice lodges, hotels, resorts up there that provide weddings. Here is a link I found:
http://www.theknot.com/co_profileview.htm?profilename=NorthShoreMN
http://www.caribouhighlands.com/groups/weddings.htm
http://www.resortsandlodges.com/lodging/usa/minnesota/north-shore.html
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